If towns were cigarettes, Tsawwassen would be a Virginia Slim.
She's come a long way, baby. It's been 10 years since National Geographic blew into our sleepy little suburb and brashly dismissed it as "strip mall hell" in an otherwise semi-flattering story about Tsawwassen's southern neighbour, Point Roberts.
"Jobs are scarce, and there isn't even any downtown, yet when residents look down that long, pinescented road toward the border checkpoint and see the Canadian strip-mall hell that is Tsawwassen just beyond it, they shudder," lamented author Erla Zwingle in August 2004, hurtfully adding, "If that's development, they'll be at the barricades to stop it."
It was a severe assertion for a community that was, until then, more accustomed to boasting about its above-average number of sunny days, pristine beaches, fertile-ifsomewhat-dormant farmland, vast bird population and low crime rate than defending itself against criticism from one of the world's most highly regarded magazines. As expected, the response from proud and patriotic Tsawwassenites was fast, furious and full of fire.
"Tsawwassen is anything but hell," wrote Diana Cousins, executive director of the Tsawwassen Business Improvement Association at the time, in a letter to National Geographic's editor.
Cousins listed a dozen different improvements along 56th Street, including the planting of more than 180 trees, an extensive hanging basket program, the installation of double-tiered banner poles and a winter tree-lighting initiative, making Tsawwassen's main shopping corridor "more like paradise."
Mayor Lois Jackson also chimed in, maintaining her civic decorum despite the surprise literary attack: "We have palm trees and shops and I think that we have a nice downtown area. I thought it was...rather unneighbourly."
Others had more difficulty containing their anger.
Malcolm Ashford, then executive director of the Delta Chamber of Commerce, called Zwingle's article a "grossly unfair exaggeration" and questioned her credentials as a "so-called" professional writer. The chamber also dismissed Zwingle's overall observations of the area as "Mickey Mouse."
Zwingle was further mocked for her evergreen ignorance as she mistook cedar trees for pine trees.
Personally, I'm a Ladner girl and happen to think it's the best place on Earth, but Tsawwassen is no slouch either when it comes to livability. The much-maligned 56th Street of the National Geographic story is actually a desirable retail experience with one-of-a-kind shops, cafes and restaurants. The purchases I have acquired in Tsawwassen in just the last couple of months include a paddle for a stand-up paddleboard, a bird house, running shoes, a jacket, 200 assorted specialty coffees and, almost, a classic Toyota Supra courtesy of the used car show every Sunday at the Tsawwassen Town Centre - a strip mall - in support of the nonprofit Boundary Bay Lions.
Strip mall hell? That's not Tsawwassen - not now, and not back in Zwingle's time. However, fast-forward 10 years and Zwingle may yet have editorial licence to criticize our sleepy piece of paradise, and that's due to the Tsawwassen Mills and Tsawwassen Commons mega malls opening in 2016 on Tsawwassen First Nation land.
Together, these commercial conquests will bring approximately 1.75 million square feet of new retail space to TFN's vast highway property.
I bet nothing would please Zwingle more than to return to the community that figuratively burned her at the stake and decree it "bigbox store hell."
