I gather there’s some soccer thing going on right now. I gather that it’s big.
This is not because I am voluntarily tuning in to watch. When I tune in, I tend to watch other things. Like Hell’s Kitchen, say. Or Fixer Upper. Or the weather channel.
No, I gather there’s some big soccer thing going on because all the televisions at my workplace are dialed in, thankfully with the volume turned down, and the colleagues are watching non-stop and hooting it up whenever the ball goes in the net.
This, I am assuming, is the objective of the game.
Some of my colleagues have also been wearing jerseys emblazoned with the names of different countries, which leads me to believe this soccer thing is some kind of international event. But that’s just a guess on my part.
I also can’t help but conclude that there’s some big soccer thing happening whenever I’ve been at the local pub lately. Think the manager has opted to air something that yours truly might find riveting? Like Jeopardy, say?
Not a chance. It’s soccer, soccer, soccer.
Most of the patrons, I must say, have appeared to be really into this soccer thing. They’ve been cheering along with great gusto, and getting particularly excited whenever one particular guy takes to the field. What’s his name anyway? Is it Rudolpho? Donaldo? Whatever. I gather that he’s good. I gather he gets the ball in the net a lot.
I have also noticed something else about this soccer thing. Whenever I watch — and again, I have no choice, since it’s everywhere I go —it strikes me that the players tend to be, well, really, really, really emotional people.
There isn’t a shrinking violet among them.
I mean, whenever a player does the ball-in-the-net thing, he becomes super, super excited. He might run around in circles or go down on his knees or throw himself in the arms of his teammates. Talk about over the top. You’d have thought he’d just paid off his mortgage or something.
Anyway, I suppose I’ll have to endure this soccer thing for a while longer because it doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon. Wherever I go, there it is: This game with this guy named Donaldo.
