Journal offers guide on what not to do in the garden

This year, in a bid to jumpstart my garden, I decided to start a journal. A journal, I thought, would keep me focused and help me go where I want to go.

I got one with some pretty flowers on the cover. Pretty flowers, I thought, would keep me focused and help me go where I want to go.

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This is how it looks so far.

Day 1: Hello, pretty journal! I am pumped! I went to the nursery today and got some lovely flowers! I have no idea what they’re called, but they’re sure to perk up the property!

Day 2: Hello, pretty journal. Today, I went to the shed and pulled out last year’s flowerpots. Some of them had spiders in them, so I got the husband to haul them out and hose them down. He wasn’t pleased with me because he was almost late for his tee time.

Day 3: Hi, pal. It rained today so I stayed inside and watched five back-to-back episodes of Love It or List It. Four of the homeowners decided to Love It.

Day 4: Hi. Got some potting soil this morning and filled the pots. Put flowers in them. I can’t lift them, so I’ll have to wait until the husband returns from the driving range. (Note to self: Next year, position the pots where you want them before filling them with dirt.)

Day 6: Pots are still in the middle of the back yard because the husband was pricing drivers yesterday and I was gorging on nachos.

Day 8: Watered plants today. (Note to self: do this more often than once a week.)

Day 11: Pots have been positioned on the deck and beside the front door. Unfortunately, there are now yellow spots on the grass where they’d been since I filled them with mud. I mean, potting soil.

Day 13: Bought a hanging basket today. It has yellow and red things in it. The husband informed me it cost as much as six sleeves of balls. I don’t know what to make of that.

Day 17: Tried to water the hanging basket today, but the hose went haywire and kicked dirt all over my shorts. I think hanging baskets should be positioned no more than three feet off the ground so they’re easier to water.

Day 21: Officially decided not to put in a veggie garden this year.

Day 26: Hi, J. Flowers are looking straggly. Realize our property will never make the annual garden tour. Couldn’t care less.

Day 31: What? It’s almost June? Time for a small vacation, I say. This gardening thing is exhausting.

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