There’s an app out there for everything. There’s even one designed to imagine what we might look like in 20 or 25 years.
I know this because I have app-crazy friends who’ve been smitten with the aging app. They set it up, do what it asks them to do, then they post their pictures on Facebook.
This has not been — how shall I say this? — universally pretty. Some people look like they’ll age pretty well. Others, not at all.
This is not something I’m inclined to do. I like my MapQuest app, my Candy Crush app and my Shazam app, but I have no intention of asking some downloadable electronic stranger to show me where my wrinkles might be in a couple of decades.
Get a sneak peek of yours truly 20 years down the road? No, thank you. I would rather not know whether I’ll be wearing thicker glasses, sporting white hair and carrying 40 pounds too many.
Not sure why some folks want to know what they’ll look like in the years ahead — heaven knows, they’ll find out eventually — but I’m betting they’re the same people who’d like to know what they’d look like, oh, as Siamese cats or German shepherds.
Want to know what you might have looked like 250 years ago, living alongside the penguins in Antarctica? I’m betting there’s an app for that.
Ever wondered what you might look like dressed up as a letter carrier, a firefighter or a seven-foot-tall, green-haired trapeze artist wearing way too much mascara? Yep. If there’s no app yet, I bet it’s being made as we speak.
No doubt there’s also something called the spouse switch app, one that allows folks to see what they’d look like as their partner. This has me mildly curious, but again, I think I’ll take a pass. The husband is not half-bad looking, but I think I’d rather look like me.
So yes, when other people the world over are jumping on the aging app bandwagon, determined to look in that mirror in the distance, I will most definitely not be taking part.
The only mirrors I plan to use are the ones that reflect the present. I’m already sporting a wrinkle or three, and that’s all I can stomach for now.