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Makeover a must, according to magazines

If the latest glossy magazines are to be believed, more than my home is in need of a spring makeover. I am, as well.
barbara gunn
Barbara Gunn

If the latest glossy magazines are to be believed, more than my home is in need of a spring makeover.

I am, as well.

There, on the covers of more than a few mags calling out to me at the supermarket checkouts, are headlines telling me that I should be de-cluttering my pad, scouring it from top to bottom and injecting it with fresh season-worthy flair. And while I’m at it, I ought to be freshening up yours truly.

My wardrobe? It’s so last year! I should be springing into style with a brand-new frock, a brand-new sweater, a brand-new raincoat and a brand-new pair of pumps. And a brand-new everything else, for that matter.

My hair? More December than April! It, too, is in need of a refresh, I’m told by the editors, who have apparently been lurking around the property and checking out my ‘do.

My handbag also needs a refresh, I’m informed, as does my jewelry, my makeup and my perfume.

“Does this bracelet look too wintery?” I asked the husband the other day, waving my wrist in the air. We were relaxing in the living room, and I’d been reading a glossy mag.

“Too what?” he asked.

“Too wintery,” I repeated. “I may need to get all-new jewelry.”

“Oh,” said the husband. “That sounds expensive.”

Indeed it does. To do what the magazines want me to do would require a lottery win or a second mortgage — or at the very least, an increase on the credit line.

“You’re right,” I said. “It does add up. Don’t know where I’m going to find the dough for new sandals.”

“What’s wrong with last year’s sandals?” asked the husband.

“What’s wrong is that they’re from last year,” I said. “They’re no longer trending.”

Now, I have never been one to place a huge importance on being on trend, but man, I don’t want to be a laughingstock either. A wintery bracelet? Might make people whisper behind my back.

On the other hand, I’m not sure what gives the glossy mags the right to tell me I’m too wintery, too fall-ish or too last year.

New pumps, new coat and new frock? To heck with springing myself into style. Think I’ll deal with the household instead.