Once again, it’s that time of year when the things that come out of my mouth are often shocking, even to me.
They are things I would never have uttered, say, 10 or 12 years ago.
That was because I didn’t know the language of football back then. Now, as it turns out, I do.
“Awesome!” I screamed the other day, this, during one of the first blessed games of the season. “Another first down!”
Back in the day, I would not have spoken of first downs — primarily because I didn’t know what they were. A first down would have been just as mysterious, and just as nonsensical, say, as a second up.
But not any more.
“Do you think they’ll go for it, or call in the kicker?” I asked the husband last Sunday.
Yes, that was me talking. It occurred to me that perhaps I was being channelled by some ESPN sports commentator.
“They’ll call for the kicker,” said the husband, who has become more than a little delighted that his wife has become fluent in football.
“Their QB has quite the arm,” I have found myself saying. “That pass was brilliant.”
I will pause, and follow the comment with this: “Wait a minute. Did I just say that?”
“Yes, the husband will reply. “You did say that.”
Back in the day, I wouldn’t have known a QB from a DW or a JM, and a pass would have been, well, something that appeared on a report card. Either that, or a route you would take when driving through the mountains.
These days — heck — I am able to speak of things I’d never heard of before. Like lines of scrimmage, say. And blitzes. And intentional groundings.
“Their only option now is a Hail Mary,” I observed recently as the clock was winding down on a game.
Yep. Me again. Strange, but true: I actually know what a Hail Mary means.
The new football me knows that a sack is something that holds potatoes, but it’s also something else.
The pocket? Sure, it’s where you put your wallet, your cellphone and your hands, but there’s more to it than that.
Odd, I know. But come Sunday, I will be glued to the game once again, and making statements that I never would have found myself making in the not-so-distant past.
Apparently, I have arrived where football is concerned. No idea how this came to be. But I’m only glad that it did.
