I see them every time I am at the spa. Or the drug store. Or at the magazine stands.
Anti-aging products. They will, scream the headlines from the women’s magazines or the beauty-counter signs, stop the progression of time right in its nasty tracks and keep you looking youthful.
All you need to do is to slather on a cream or mist yourself with a spray. Bingo! The instant fountain of youth.
These magical products will not only eliminate the progression of wrinkles, I am told, but get rid of the lines entirely. One assumes they will also get rid of under-eye circles, under-arm flab and under-than-ideal eyesight.
I must say I’ve always been a skeptic. But get to be my age, which is somewhere north of 40 and somewhere south of 70, and you start to think, well, bring it on.
Seems to me that if these anti-aging potions can stop the ravages of time, there’s no reason why they can’t also turn back the clock. Me? I’d rather like to have the bikini bod I had when I was 21. I’d like to be old enough to order a cocktail, but young enough to be without the need for glasses.
In a perfect anti-aging world, I’d like to be without the odd grey hair, but peppy enough to stay up past midnight.
“Excuse me,” I imagine myself saying at the anti-aging drug store counter. I would be eyeball to eyeball with some gal who looks 24, but is actually 62.
“I’d like to get a cream that would make me 35 again. No, make that 37.”
“Thirty-seven?” the lovely sexagenarian would say.
“Yes,” I’d reply. “Granted, we still had a hefty mortgage back then, but at least the kids were finally sleeping through the night. And hey, I still looked pretty darned good at 37.”
She will, I am guessing, then produce an array of elixirs, all designed to stop the clock, if not turn it back entirely.
Yep, bring it on. In a perfect anti-aging world, I’d like to be past retirement — working is so over-rated — but have the appearance of someone who’s still shlepping a backpack to college.
Indeed, I used to be a skeptic, but I’m prepared to put all my doubts behind me. I’m seeing these products wherever I go, so I’m guessing the claims must be true.
No need to appear like you’re aging at all. There are potions, thank heavens, to stop it.
