When I was a kid, there was an older boy who lived down the street named Barry. He was a leader in the hood and organized all kinds of activities for all the kids on the block and surrounding area.
He was also a bully. I witnessed him physically and mentally torment kids younger than him on a regular basis. I was not affected by his actions as much as other kids, probably because I was the only punk on the block that would agree to go in net when we played street hockey. He had an unbelievable slap shot and always shot top shelf.
One day, though, Barry and an even older bully named Pete decided they would hog-tie me in Barry's garage. Looking much like a Ad Vinci sketch with arms and legs outstretched, tied and unable to move, the two thugs proceeded to pelt me with dogwoods they had previously gathered and placed in an ice cream bucket.
I was about eight years old and endured the onslaught for about 10 minutes. I started to cry as I could begin to taste the saltiness of a nosebleed.
When they finished their fun, they just left me alone. I thought they were going to get more dogwoods but they didn't come back until it was starting to get dark out. They finally let me go and I went home bloodied and late for dinner.
Posed with the "what happened to you?", I could only say that I fell playing soccer for fear that any real accounting of events would only bring more grief and potential abuse.
Fear of repercussion is a real threat to victims of bullying. The internalization of feelings of shame can lead to a sense of worthlessness and low self-esteem. If not addressed, this horrible angst can lead to depression, borderline personality disorder, attention deficit disorder and variety of other mental health conditions that have proven to be lethal for far too many.
Bullying, as a real time occurrence,
has far-reaching implications that the bully needs to understand. The arrogance and narcissism often associated with the bully make it difficult for them to understand they can cause immeasurable grief not only to the victim, but also to the victim's family and friends. Bullies are usually psychopaths.
Although Barry went on to pitch for the Washington State team on a full-ride scholarship, I did get my revenge on him in high school.
He was on the mound in a close playoff game and had struck me out in the game twice prior. On my third appearance at the plate, I looked at a change-up strike and whiffed on a curveball. Down 0-2 in the count, I could see Barry smiling. I knew he was thinking dogwoods and I knew he was going to throw me high heat just like he did all those years ago.
I almost took his head off with a line drive up the middle that brought in two runs and eventually won the game.
Most victims of bullying don't see happy endings unfortunately. I hope you wore pink on Wednesday and if you didn't, there's still time. Talk with your kids if you see the signs.
