With ghost-and-goblin day just over a week down the road, I’d like to make a suggestion.
Halloween should be for everyone.
I see no reason at all why kids should have all the fun. Heck, if homeowners were willing to give me some kind of treat, I’d be more than happy to dress up as a Martian or a mummy and roam around the neighbourhood.
Adults: it’s high time we got in on the fun.
And I’m not even looking for candy. Grown-up trick-or-treaters should be given items they could actually use.
Think about it. Forget the candy apples and the Tootsie Rolls and the mini O’Henrys. I’d much prefer, oh, a roll of Scotch tape. Or a coaster. Or a couple of triple A batteries. Or a tiny tube of toothpaste.
To make this work, of course, householders would have to do their wandering one at a time — you know, just so one person could do the doling out while the other was doing the collecting. No problem there.
I can see it now.
When it’s my turn to man the fort, I will size up the folks who arrive at the door. OK, I will think: two kids and two adults. Easy peasy. Suckers for the little ones. Something else for Mom and Dad.
“OK,” I will say. “What’s your pleasure? A pack of toothpicks? A deck of cards? A golf ball?”
“Oh,” the mother might say, “I see you have spools of thread there. May I have some black thread, please? I’m really into sewing.”
“And I see you have chopsticks,” the father might add. “I’m really into sushi. May I?”
“You got it!” I will say, extending my basket of goodies.
When it’s my turn to trick or treat, I will scout out Post-it Notes. And travel-sized bottles of shampoo. And candles and coin rollers. Forget the Swedish berries. What I really need are tea lights.
The husband, well, he’ll be hoping for golf tees. And ballpoint pens. And push pins for his bulletin board.
At the end of the day, after the Jack-o-lantern’s gone dark and the final few fairies have knocked on the door, we will do what we did when we were kids. We will spread the bounty all over the floor and sort and count and group our treats.
What can I say? It’s not that I’m desperate for batteries or tape. I simply want in on the fun.
