Her name is Sharon and you might have seen her pushing an empty doll stroller around Tsawwassen. It used to carry her miniature poodle named Precious. Her stroller has groceries and newspapers in it now after Precious died a few years ago.
Sharon is a widow and her new apartment doesn’t allow pets, so she lives alone. If you ask, Sharon will tell you the most intimate details of her life and always with a smile.
When we last met in front of the RBC she didn’t remember me, but that didn’t stop her from affectionately stroking my arm and giving me a kiss on the cheek when we parted. She told the same stories I’d heard before like the last moments of Precious’s life and her housing woes.
Is Sharon lonely? I haven’t asked her. I would wager that getting into the community every day and engaging in casual conversations with people in her path that she’s better off than most people who live alone without family support.
Loneliness has become a chronic health problem that’s on the rise. The American Psychological Association reports, “Loneliness and social isolation may represent a greater public health risk than obesity.” According to the group’s recent study, 42 million Americans over the age of 40 are suffering from chronic loneliness.
Just ask business owners in South Delta. While most of their regular customers come in to make purchases, many will stop by daily just for the social connection. Checking in with a familiar face behind a counter, getting a wave or a smile might be the only human touch some people have in a day, or in a week.
Making the rounds of the local businesses and restaurants might help those who suffer from chronic loneliness, but it’s not easy for our merchants who witness the most vulnerable in our community turning to them for comfort.
Loneliness and isolation is right behind the doors of our neighbourhoods but we don’t always see it, or we don’t have time to see it. If time is money, then time is hard to share for free.
We are entering the silly season where images of happy families enjoying holiday celebrations are everywhere. It’s hard not to feel the pressure to create the perfect social circle where everyone is seen and heard with a meal and a gift in hand. Imagine if you are alone.
Most of us don’t want more stuff, we want time with friends and family. Everyone is in a rush, me included. I’m trying to slow down, give more of myself to those who need it but it’s not a winning battle.
Now is the best time to consider those in our community who yearn to connect and share our valuable time.
You won’t be able to miss Sharon this winter as she’ll be pushing her stroller with a big grin and a bright halo of flashing Christmas lights on her hat. Make sure to stop and say hello; she’s worth your time.
Ingrid Abbott is a writer and broadcaster who recognizes that loneliness is part of the human condition despite an overpopulated world.
