I magine if we knew the day and time we were going to die. What would we do with that information? Would it give us relief or subject us to extreme anxiety? Most of us will never know until it happens, but if we have an incurable disease or disability, with the help of a physician or nurse practitioner, we can now plan our own death. This is a monumental step towards a freer society where choice reigns.
My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at 48 and during his two years of treatment he endured painful surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation. After a false remission diagnosis, the cancer reappeared in the lining of his stomach and we knew it was time to consider his options for end of life.
Sitting propped up in his bed with the bad news still settling in, he met with his oncologist and the palliative care team at VGH. They gave him the choice to deny treatment and die quickly or to receive palliative chemotherapy and begin TPN therapy. With the cancer completely blocking his intestine, the only way to receive calories was though a pic line into his veins.
With two teenagers and a loving family, every day counted, he did not want to die. He requested his oncologist give him the best protocol to extend his life no matter what the cost. He lived seven more months. Despite everything his palliative care team could do, he suffered.
Regardless of all the pain and grief, it was a gift to know that we had time to plan, to sell and buy a new home, to help curate an exhibition of his art work and to say good-bye to those he loved.
What I most admired was his courage, the courage to accept his illness and make choices that benefitted others before himself.
If Bill C-14 was in effect nine years ago, my husband could have asked for medication to end his life a month, weeks or days before the end came. It wasn't on the table, we never discussed it.
His team of amazing palliative care nurses promised to make him comfortable and he was satisfied to let nature take its course. I will never know if he would have decided otherwise.
It is hard to imagine others dictating to the dying what they can and can't do around their final days. It takes unfathomable courage to design and implement your own death. Dignity around those choices is the least we can offer as a society.
Medical assisted death is complicated, emotional and personal, and must be a choice, but it doesn't mean I am not wary of a law that could open doors for the exploitation of the vulnerable. Perhaps that is the price we have to pay for the greater rights of the whole.
My husband died with dignity on his own terms in his own home with his family by his side. That is a right that must be allowed to everyone.
Ingrid Abbott is a freelance writer and broadcaster who has learned not to sweat the small stuff.
