When I worked as a reporter I interviewed hundreds of politicians. It was a privilege, but I also knew the majority of them received intense media response training. It’s no accident most politicians are able to avoid answering difficult questions because they’ve been trained to do so.
I always wondered what they really thought about the big issues once the microphones were turned off. Did their self-interests conflict wildly from the sound bite they just gave for the evening newscast?
Take the replacement of the aging and congested George Massey Tunnel. What are the players really thinking? I took some editorial licence to imagine their inner thoughts.
NDP Premier John Horgan accuses Liberal MLAs of playing politics after they displayed a 60th birthday cake for the tunnel that read, “Sorry about the 60 minute wait.” What Horgan really thinks: Where’s my piece of cake, I deserve a treat for stalling the new crossing so that I can fund projects in NDP ridings and really stick it to the Liberals.
Delta MP Carla Qualtrough says she might be able to get some federal money to help pay for a new crossing. What Qualtrough really thinks: Justin, if you want me to hold on to my seat in the fall election, you better throw some cash at the new crossing. Then when my constituents line up for two hours to get through construction they’ll have a big sign to look at that says, “Funded by the Liberal Government of Canada.”
Delta South Liberal MLA Ian Paton is outraged the Liberals’ 10-lane bridge project was thrown out by the NDP. He wants action now so construction can begin ASAP. What Paton really thinks: I think it’s time I do another video of me weeding around my sign at the entrance to the tunnel so people know I’m making things happen.
Delta Mayor George Harvie says he believes in a regional solution and he wants a new crossing as soon as possible. What Harvie really thinks: Hmm, the George Harvie Bridge, that has a nice ring to it.
Richmond-Queensborough Liberal MLA Jas Johal is worried Richmond businesses will leave because no one wants to drive through the tunnel for work. What Johal really thinks: Damn, I gave up my successful broadcasting career to be in the opposition, I can’t get anything done.
Richmond Mayor Malcolm Brodie suggests the province should mandate restricting truck traffic through the tunnel during peak times to ease congestion. What Brodie really thinks: There’s no way in hell that anyone has the guts to tell truck drivers what to do.
The Metro Vancouver George Massey Crossing Task Force wants the crossing completed by 2026 at the latest. What the task force really thinks: What sandwiches are we getting this week? I didn’t like the vegetarian ones we got at last month’s meeting.
What are drivers thinking as they drive towards the tunnel: Please, God, don’t let there be an accident or a stall or a fire or a…
Ingrid Abbott is a freelance writer and broadcaster who knows sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but couldn’t help herself.
