Vancouver made a (long expected) splash on July 1st, securing the services of towering defenceman Tyler Myers for $30 million over five seasons. While there was a mixed response to the signing, there's one thing no one can deny: Tyler Myers is very, very tall.
How tall? Myers is a staggering 6’8”. If you find that difficult to picture, don’t feel bad. The human mind is simply not capable of visualizing such vast figures; it’s like trying to imagine a tesseract.
To help you visualize just how tall Myers really is, we’ve assembled a list of things that are not quite as tall as his, but do have the virtue of being easier to picture because of that fact.
1 | Jacob Markstrom
Move over, Marky. Vancouver’s 6’6” goalie is one of the tallest netminders in the NHL. That said, he’s no longer the tallest member of the Canucks; Tyler Myers has at least two inches on him. Myers and Markstrom will probably end up as friends, since they’ll spend a bunch of time together flying in the exit row seats on the airplane.
2 | Nikita Tryamkin
Remember him? The smooth-skating Russian giant might’ve struggled with English in his first NHL season, but he has never struggled to see that tiny little bald spot on the very top of your head, the one you’re a little self-conscious about (honestly, it’s fine; I swear you look just like Jason Statham).
As tall as he is, Myers out-talls him by one inch. Which, by the transformative property of tallitude makes Myers one order of magnitude taller. Wow.
3 | Kawhi Leonard
Myers, taller than basketball star Kawhi Leonard? Believe it. Sure, the reigning NBA Finals MVP is a massive 6’7. And sure, Leonard owns one of the greatest moments in NBA history. Even so, he’d have to tilt his head slightly upward to enjoy a conversation with Myers. Which, let’s be clear, is something Kawhi would never do, as he’s never enjoyed a conversation in his life.
4 | Gandalf the Grey
I’ve seen this debate rage across Twitter, so let’s put it to rest. Gandalf the Grey, also known as Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, is nowhere near as tall as Tyler Myers.
Gandalf uses a tall, pointed hat, long white beard, and regular association with hobbits to perpetuate the illusion that he’s tall. But he’s not. It’s exactly the kind of artifice you’d expect from the secret wielder of the Flame of Anor.
If you insist on using Middle Earth as yardstick (and why wouldn’t you?) Myers compares more favourably to the Ents, a race of ancient, tree-like beings living in Fangorn Forest. Notable examples include Treebeard, Beechbone, and Nikita Tryamkin.
5 | Tom Cruise on a box
It's a well-known fact (despite it constantly being introduced as a little-known fact) that Tom Cruise is not very tall. The movie star always seems larger than life on the big screen, but he's actually just 5'7". Directors use camera trickery to make Cruise seem as tall or taller than his co-stars and sometimes that trickery is as simple as having Cruise stand on a box that is out of frame.
Even while standing on a box, Cruise is not as tall as Tyler Myers.
6 | A suspiciously tall man that is probably just two kids in a trench coat
That weirdly wiggling man in a trench coat that is purchasing two tickets...er, I mean, one ticket for an R-rated movie is probably just three kids in a trench coat. He's definitely not as tall as Tyler Myers. An average 13 year old sitting on the shoulders of another 13 year old will be taller than six feet, but likely be around 6'6".
7 | The Chrysler Building
The iconic Art Deco building, situated at 42nd Street and Lexington in Manhattan, is a glittering spire that was once the tallest building in the world (for about 11 months in 1930, anyway.) It is incredibly tall, instantly recognizable, and utterly crap at hockey.
Since the ‘30s, the Chrysler Building has been surpassed in height by many projects, most recently by Vancouver’s latest project, Tyler Myers.