We need something new to talk about. We really, really do.
No matter where you might happen to be - let's face it - the conversation's about just one thing. It goes something like this: Person A: "The house just down the street from us just went for $200,000 over the asking price. There were 25 offers, and all were subject-free."
Person B: "That's nothing. The place around the corner is a teardown, and 250 people showed up at the open house. It went for $300,000 above the list price."
You hear variations of this exchange no matter where you happen to be: in the checkout at the supermarket, in the lineup at the credit union, in the washroom of the pub.
Yesterday, it happened on the bus. My travelling companion - whom I know almost as well as the woman who measured our windows for new blinds eight years ago - launched into it as soon as she sat down. She had a friend, she told me breathlessly. The friend was looking to buy a place, but whenever she found something she liked, it was snapped up in less than 24 hours, and not before a small army of househunters got in line ahead of her.
"Isn't it crazy?" she said. I wanted to yawn.
Then I wanted to say: "Have you ever eaten poutine? 'Cause I'm wondering what it tastes like." But, of course, no one is talking about poutine these days. It's just the same old, same old: housing blah blah, over listing blah blah, real estate record blah blah blah.
Can't we talk about something else, for crying out loud? I know! How about new uses for old dish towels? Or what to do with leftover leftovers? Or why a deck of cards has 52 cards instead of 48 or 56? Huh? When's the last time we talked about that?
I have it all planned.
The next time someone starts talking about some outrageously priced dump on a 10-lane thoroughfare that went for $4.6 million, I'm going to change the subject.
"Yesterday," I'll say, "I saw a cloud that looked exactly like a manual can opener."
And why not, I ask you? At least I'd be bringing something a tad original into the conversational circle. Everyone's talking real estate, yet no one's discussing can opener clouds. But that's not the way the chit-chat goes, not in these parts, at least, and frankly, it's become more than a little tiresome.
I suggest we move on from this one-topic talk. I propose that we start with poutine.
