There are many things I happen to know. I know the difference between a dachshund and a Dalmatian. I can tell a Volvo from a Volkswagen. I know a rose from a rhodo.
I do not, however, happen to know figurative art from interactive art. In fact, beats me what interactive art even is. Does it talk to you? Invite you to take a seat inside the frame? I am what you'd call an art simpleton.
This has become strikingly apparent in recent days. The husband and I have a bare patch of wall, and we've decided we We thought art might do the trick.
(The husband, I might add, is also an art simpleton. You could say we have lots in common.)
"What should we hang there?" I wondered. "What kind of art do you like?" "Let's see," said the husband. "I've heard there's something called decorative art. That might be nice."
"Decorative?" I asked.
"Isn't all art decorative?" The husband shrugged his shoulders.
"I really have no idea," he said. "But it sounds better than ugly art."
We ruled out pictures of mountains, puppies and pears. We gave a thumbs down to flowers, rivers and sunsets. We opted not to go with people, trees and fishing boats.
"Forget the pictures," said the husband. "I think we should be asking ourselves what kind of art we want."
I embarked on some Internet sleuthing.
"Says here there's art," I said. "I wonder what that is."
"Hmm," the husband said. "It's designed around a concept?" "Maybe," I said. "I can't picture that."
"Me neither," he said. The Internet told me there was something called new media art, and something else called digital art.
"No way," I said. "That sounds way too high-tech for me. I'd rather go with old media art."
We looked at the space on the wall and sighed.
"There's also abstract art," I told the husband.
"Oh," he said. "I've heard of that. I think we're talking blobs and stuff like that."
"I believe you're right," I said. "It's probably a lot like conceptual art. But I don't really care for blobs."
At the moment, we are still undecided, simpletons that we are. There's a very good chance we'll get nothing at all.
A wall, after all, ain't so bad.
