I landed on a hobby. At some point, I decided, I would learn to knit. It would be relaxing. It would be productive. It would be something I could do, well, any old place.
I opted to learn to knit, not by going to knitting school. Not by buying books.
I would learn to knit the way I understand people learn anything these days. I would turn my attention to YouTube.
I pulled out my laptop and plugged in some keywords. YouTube. Knitting. Beginners.
Holy moly. Turns out everyone and their dog — and their cat and their hamster and their pot-bellied pig, for that matter — wants to teach me how to knit.
I have instructors by the ga-zillion. It’s crazy.
“Did you know you could learn to knit by going on YouTube?” I asked the husband.
He looked at me and cocked his head.
“Where have you been?” he said. “You can learn anything by going on YouTube.”
Really, I said. Would it be possible, oh, to find YouTube lessons on how to efficiently fill a dishwasher? On how to expertly pack a suitcase? On how to best use the space in the refrigerator?
“I wouldn’t admit to anyone that you asked me that,” the husband said. “I told you. You can learn anything on YouTube.”
OK, I said to Mister Smarty Pants.
“Do you think YouTube could teach me how to get this tuft of hair behind my right ear to lie down?”
The husband nodded.
“No doubt,” he said. “YouTube would likely recommend some styling product.”
“How to get gum off my scarf?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“How to get the scuff marks off the kitchen floor?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
I looked at him, pondering.
“Here’s one,” I said. “Could YouTube tell me what to do if I happened to be on a plane, in the back row and feeling really cold, but unable to call a flight attendant for a blanket because they’re all at the front handing out head sets and pretzels?”
The husband smiled. I believe I had him in a corner.
“Well,” he said, “that’s just plain silly, but you never know. YouTube would probably suggest you take whatever you’ve been knitting out of your backpack and put it around your shoulders.”
OK, so maybe he wasn’t in a corner after all.
In any case, the point was a good one. I needed up get up to speed with the yarn. You never know when you’re apt to be cold.