This summer, I proposed to the husband, I'd like to act like tourists in our own backyard.
We will roam about the region for days at a time, exploring hip cafes and funky wine bars and trendy diners. We will take in the shops and the sights and the shows, stopping only to sip lemonade and cool our heels at a beach somewhere.
"Oh," said the husband.
"You mean like a staycation?" "No," I said. "A staycation - that's such a stupid word - is for people who actually live here. I suggest we pretend we don't."
The husband raised his eyebrows.
"We'd actually act like tourists," I continued.
"What," he asked, "would that look like?" "Well," I said. "For starters, we'd carry maps. And backpacks. And maybe even little suitcases. We'd pretend we're not from here. We might even speak with English accents."
It would be fun, I told him! If we couldn't get away, well, by golly, we'd get away right where we are! We'll meet the locals! We'll tell them we're from, oh, Oxford! Or Tennessee! Or Berlin! "I don't think I could speak with a German accent," said the husband. "Do people from Tennessee have an accent?" "I'm sure they do!" I said. "But we'll research that! It will be part of our trip planning!" The husband nodded.
He was starting to come around - or so it seemed.
"But," he said, "haven't we already been to all the tourist hot spots?" "That's exactly the point!" I said. "We'll ask the locals to recommend some off-the-wall sushi joint, and chances are, we'll discover something we never knew about!" Same with museums, I pointed out. And boutiques. And who knows what else. It would be, well, our summer of discovery.
"We'll go on one of those hop-on, hop-off buses," I continued. "Hey, we've never done that before!" "Interesting," said the husband.
"And we'll ask the driver all sorts of tourist-y questions. In our finest British accents - or Tennessee accents - we'll ask where the bridge to Vancouver Island is located, and why Vancouver Island is called Vancouver Island when it isn't home to Vancouver."
"But there isn't a bridge to the island," he said.
"Exactly!" I said. "But tourists might not know that!" "OK," he said. "And do we stay in a hotel?" "Of course!" I said.
"Remember, we don't live around here!" When we head off on our little trip hasn't been determined yet, but that's OK, given that there's much we have to do. We need to plan. We need to pack.
And we need to figure out where we're from.
