Once, way back when, I was included in a gift draw.
The gift draw was the brainchild of the husband's sister. The husband's family, noted the sister in an email to all of us, comprised more than a handful of people. It would be silly - not to mention costly - for us to buy Christmas gifts for everyone.
To that end, she announced, there would be a gift draw. A gift draw with conditions.
"You will buy a gift for the person whose name you draw," she said. "Your gift can't cost more than $15. And you have to make it."
"Make it!" I remember shrieking. "I can't make a Christmas present!" I can make a decent meatloaf and a decent pot roast and a decent tuna casserole. None of these things, I pointed out to the husband at the time, travels well in the mail - an important consideration, given that the husband's family is four provinces removed.
"Nor does shortbread travel well," I added. "Not that I make shortbread, decent or otherwise."
The husband's family, I recall pointing out, was pretty talented when it came to the crafty stuff. The family included a photographer. The family included a seamstress. The family included a winemaker and a confectioner and a carpenter and a knitter.
"What the heck am I supposed to make?" I cried. "I can't make anything!"
"You'll figure it out," the husband said.
"And what are you going to make, Mr. Wise Guy?" I asked. "It's not like you're good with your hands either!" "I'll be fine," said the husband.
At this time of year, of course, all manner of folks are hard at work at their workbenches and sewing machines and craft tables, making presents for their loved ones.
Heck, even their little ones are getting in on the hard work, making sock ornaments and gingerbread houses and personalized finger paintings.
Not me. I'm hard at work, all right, but my hard work takes me inside the mall, where I trade cash for things that other people have made. You know: books and calendars and sweaters and little slippers with tassels.
I could not make a tassel if my life depended on it, let alone a slipper.
But back to the family gift exchange. Can't remember what the husband made that year, but I'm sure it was pretty lame.
As for me? I think I made a Play-Doh elf.
We haven't had the gift draw since.
