When my children were babies, I had the usual paraphernalia. Soothers. Rattles. Several hundred little stuffed bears.
I did not have a sign on the car that read Baby on Board.
Whether the sign had even been in vogue way back then is beside the point. I wouldn't have had one anyway.
I am not a Baby on Board kind of person.
To begin with, I don't really get what it means, but I can only assume it's intended to say a couple of things to other motorists on the road.
Those would be: (a) I know you're the kind of driver who likes to rearend people, but please opt for another vehicle since I have an infant sleeping in the back. Or (b) Just in case you're contemplating cutting me off, please think twice because I'm sleep-deprived, in desperate need of adult conversation and unable to get the lyrics to Baby Beluga out of my head.
Whatever. It's curious.
Curious, given that I have yet to see a sign that says Six-year-old on Board or Red-haired Gradeschooler on Board. I have, however, seen a sign that read Proud Parent of an Honour Roll Student. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with that one, but I assume I'm being asked to roll down the window at the next red light and ask the driver which Ivy League schools are recruiting Miss Smarty Pants.
Weird - and more than a little obnoxious.
If I was inclined to post a sign on my car - and honestly, I'm not - it would say nothing about babies or gifted teenagers.
Instead, I'd go for something a little more pedestrian, something not seen every day.
You know, like: Suburban football-crazy baby boomer on board, or Self-confessed Candy
Crush addict on board, or Lover of fine wine, red meat and back-to-back episodes of Love It or List It on board.
Thing is, I'm not sure what any of those would be designed to say to other motorists, other than to tell them that I would like to get out of my vehicle and park myself in front of a television with a chilled glass of sauvignon blanc and a big, old rack of ribs.
But no, I'm not likely to find the words that speak to who I am.
My car just has a licence plate. I'll have to take that as a sign.
