Thanksgiving is approaching, and that can mean only one thing: I should be pulling out the glue gun, the Styrofoam balls, the construction paper, the spray paint, the wire cutters and the pipe cleaners.
Never mind that I have to prepare dinner for 10. Never mind that there's a shop to be made, a table to be set and a bird to be stuffed.
The home-décor magazines are also telling me that I should be making the napkin holders right about now, as well as the place cards, the votive candle arrangements, the mantel decorations and the wreaths.
Don't even get me started on the centrepiece. I don't know who the home-décor magazines think I am, but I suspect it's someone who does not work and manages to get by on two hours sleep a night. They also think that I'm more than a little crafty.
"35 Ideas for Easy Thanksgiving Decorating!" screamed one magazine cover the other day. I was standing in the checkout at the grocery. I was surrounded by magazines telling me what I ought to be doing in the days leading up to Monday. I picked up the magazine and flipped through the pages.
Idea No. 7 involved gourds, corn husks, raffia, pine cones, metallic ink, a copper tray, a galvanized bucket, a battery-powered candle and a blackboard on which I write inspirational sayings.
Easy peasy indeed.
What can I say? I do not happen to own a galvanized bucket or a copper tray, let alone a blackboard.
The home-décor magazines, if you ask me, tend to be a tad pushy, and are even capable of laying the odd guilt trip on someone who happens not to know a few inspirational sayings.
To the editors, I would like to say this: my idea of decorating for Thanksgiving is to empty the garbage cans in the bathrooms, remove the dust from the Venetian blinds and clear the clutter from the kitchen countertops.
My idea of getting set is to head to the forest or the beach on Saturday to collect some coloured leaves and some pretty rocks, which I will place in the centre of the table.
My idea of preparing is to get the turkey in by noon and the potatoes peeled by two.
My plan is to set out a fire, put on some music and pull out the fancy dishes. My plan is to toast the day with the company, to relish the feast and to admire the twinkling candles.
I am grateful for all that I have. And I don't need a glue gun to prove it.
