Radiant Orchid, I'm told, is the colour of the year.
It's a purple-ish hue, and quite lovely, I suppose. I'm just not clear what I'm supposed to do with this information.
Come to think of it, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with the announcement that Emerald was the colour of 2013. Or that Tangerine Tango was the colour of 2012, or that Honeysuckle was the go-to colour the year before that.
I also wasn't sure how I should have reacted to the declaration - so made by the U.S.-based Pantone colour authority - that Mimosa was the colour of 2009.
Truth be told, I didn't even know Mimosa was a colour. I knew it was a drink, and possibly a tree. But that's about it.
"I guess we should buy some Radiant Orchid throw pillows," I told the husband. "We don't want to be completely out of it."
"What?" he responded. "You want to get some orchids? Why? We don't do well with plants."
No, I continued, I did not want to invest in orchids. And agreed, we did not do well with plants.
I thought, rather, that we should invest in something Radiant Orchid-ish. You know, just so visitors to our home would walk away thinking how hip to the times were we.
"Look at our place," I pointed out. "Our sofa is gold and brown. Our walls are taupe. Our flooring is cherry. There isn't a speck of Radiant Orchid to be seen."
The husband looked unimpressed. The husband did not look at all like someone who was prepared to rush off to the hardware store and return with 10 gallons of paint that might give our interiors a bit of a contemporary vibe.
The husband, in fact, is pretty black and white when it comes to the colour wheel.
He knows red and yellow and blue, but becomes a bit fuzzy when it comes to fuchsia or teal.
Perhaps it's a good thing. After all, painting the old homestead Radiant Orchid might win us Brownie points this year - or make that purple points - but we'd have to completely change it up next year, when Pantone announces the hot colour is - and I'm just guessing here - Spectacular Sunrise. Whatever the heck that is.
I suggested we buy a piece of Radiant Orchid artwork, then realized there was no available space on the walls.
I suggested we get some Radiant Orchid placemats, then realized they wouldn't go with our napkins.
I suggested we get some Radiant Orchid candles, then realized, well, that I didn't much care for Radiant Orchid anyway.
This year, the guests will leave unimpressed.
The candles, I think, will be teal.
