My father was a successful open line talk show host in Vancouver for decades and for a few years I was lucky to be his producer. If a guest failed to show or it was a slow news day, we would open the telephone lines for a free for all. We were always amazed that when a caller introduced the subject of dog poo, the phone board would light up like a Christmas tree, and sparks would fly.
Dog poo is a hot topic. Just ask anyone who has stepped in doggy doo. It smells horrible, it's hard to remove from your shoes, it's unhygienic, especially on the beach, and it's infuriating. Someone before you didn't do his or her job and failed to pick up their dog.
"I didn't see him do it," is no excuse because we know you did. And, no, dog poo is not a fertilizer, as one owner told me after he refused to pick up after his dog.
For those non dog lovers, I feel your pain.
We are a society obsessed with dogs. The proof is in the retail industry that is cashing in on our love for our furry friends. We have four pet stores in our community and a plethora of dog walkers, doggie daycares and groomers who entertain, pamper and babysit our pets.
Clever business people are making money from picking up your dog's poo. Scooby's Dog Waste Removal Service will come to your house every Wednesday to scoop up your dog's waste for $9.89 a week. That's the price of a bottle of wine from Point Roberts. Personally, I'll take the wine and clean up myself.
The problem of dog poo doesn't end once it's in the bag. Who hasn't noticed white poo purses abandoned around our parks, trails and neighbourhoods? One anonymous person got so furious at a growing pile of filled bags at my local beach access they took the time to write a message on a huge piece of plywood: "To whom it may concern, you have half the program figured out, now if you can put the bags into an appropriate container and not leave them stacked up here you'll have it all, the good poo fairy doesn't stop by here and pick them up."
Miraculously, the poo bags disappeared in a few days.
Dog owners know they are under the microscope. My dog sitting friend places complimentary white dog waste bags around her neighbourhood so people can't use the excuse, "I didn't have a bag." She doesn't want to be blamed for abandoned dog poop, her reputation is on the line.
Dogs are so much more than the sum of their poop. They are great companions, they relieve stress, provide exercise, help us to socialize and are affectionate love bugs. I wouldn't be without one.
So fellow dog owners, practise what Robert Fulham said in his bestselling book, All I Really Need to Know I Learnt in Kindergarten, "Rule #5, clean up after your own mess."
Ingrid Abbott is a freelance writer and broadcaster who cleans up after her dog Rosie.
