When I die, I want people to have a good time at my funeral.
I see it as a laid-back, pet-friendly affair. Depending on how many people still like me by then, it will either be held in a community hall or someone's living room.
There will be a brief video perhaps set to some Bruce Springsteen or Chris Isaak music. Guests will watch while sipping specialty coffees made by a barista hired by my loved ones for the occasion.
There will also be plenty of chocolate and other assorted sweets, a range of mostly vegetarian or organic finger foods along with various flavours of sunflower seeds.
People will be invited to share jokes and tell stories about me until the coffee grows cold or the jokes become boring - whatever happens first.
If this all seems a bit morbid or even vulgar, then you haven't been to many funerals lately.
Researchers from the University of Hull began investigating the changing social trends of modern funerals several years ago, and found that more and more people were opting for a departure - no pun intended - from the standard somber funeral program to a more jovial "celebration of life."
The researchers attended 40 funerals and found themselves listening to live jazz bands, bagpipers and Abba more often than hymns sung by any church congregation.
My own experience with funerals - including the celebration of life we planned for my dad three years ago - echoes the findings of those university researchers. Gathered at Ladner Fishermen's Hall, we sent him off with a 25-minute movie and his own song. My dad would have approved.
Not everyone lived as long as my dad, but many lived as wide, and that was the case for my husband's friend and colleague, whose memorial we attended last weekend. His death was unexpected and unfair, making it so terribly tragic, yet his friends and family rallied to support each other and mark his passing in a way they thought he would have wanted.
They assembled at a local Legion, where they took turns sharing his life's many joyful moments, which were highlighted by a singa-long to Trooper's We're Here For A Good Time (Not a Long Time). It was a fittingly casual program that warmly remembered him as playful, talented and intelligent, with a bounty of love for his children.
Social media also plays a role in many modern memorials. When a former co-worker of mine died after a long battle with cancer last month, her friends turned to Facebook to post photos and fond memories of their short time with her. There were probably more than 200 posts from people she had touched; imagine the comfort this provided her family knowing their daughter, mother and sister left such a legacy.
But these new funeral fashions are not without critics. Researching this column, I came across numerous musings blaming narcissistic Baby Boomers for the demise of the traditional funeral, and suggesting the new ways are harmful because they minimize death, devalue life and circumvent the grieving process.
Writing on his blog, one pastor called these consequences "grave dangers." A clergical comedian! I may book him to speak at my celebration of life, when the time comes.
