My quote for this month is: "Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top." Jimmy Dean There has been a lot in the news lately about sex, both good and bad. The scandals surrounding the alleged sexual assaults by Jian Ghomeshi and Bill Cosby will forever have tarnished their reputations no matter what the courts decide. I was particularly shaken by the allegations against Cosby because I loved his shows and supported his drive for higher education.
As these two celebrities are finding out, the truth shall prevail, even if it takes 20 years.
The good we can take from these sad stories is that some of these women are finally feeling safe enough to come forward and speak out. I can only hope this is the beginning of the end of the common everyday sexual harassment (and worse) that has happened to almost every woman I have known at some point in their lives. Why so many men think this behaviour is OK is beyond me.
To be fair, I am heartened by the growing number of men who stand up for women and their rights, and also by their hands-on approach in helping co-raise their children.
At the same time, there are too many women who seem to think that twerking, showing more skin or exposing their implanted breasts makes them sexier. A little mystery is still sexier and much more elegant than revealing too much.
A headline from the U.S. Medical Daily shouted, "Have the best sex ever... when you're older." It went on to say a new survey finds that sexual peak is a myth and many people report a quality sex life well into middle age.
Personally, I don't see why they stop at middle age as there are lots of people who carry on active sex lives well into their old age and good for them. Sexologists suggest that sex may be better when couples are older because they are more experienced and that quality sex beats quantity.
So here's my gift to you: Did you know there are a huge number
of people (one in three) living alone and that many of these folks are older and would rather not engage in sex anymore? It's true. This fact can be a barrier to socializing because they don't want to say it out loud.
Personally, I think it's time platonic relationships come out of the closet to be celebrated. It's OK to say, I'm not interested in sex anymore but I am interested in companionship, good conversation, sharing meals, travel, bird-watching, golf, movies, whatever. There are many reasons you may be over sex and those reasons are personal and needn't be shared unless you are comfortable doing that. My point is that you are not alone and you may be missing out on meeting some wonderful folks with which to share other activities.
Isolation can lead to depression, which can lead to dementia. We, especially seniors, need to stay socially connected. Don't let sex stop you from forming new relationships. Just be honest with what you want and enjoy the opportunities life presents.
As the Chinese proverb says, "Look around: happiness is chasing you."
Have a lovely December however you choose to celebrate.
