Editor: Hi there, me again, your local social propriety gadfly (my last post was about cellphone etiquette).
I spend a lot of time in public places (transit, pubs, coffee shops, restaurants, etc.) and I can tell you that we as a society have a lot to learn about swearing effectively.
The hormone-soaked teenager, the insecure loudmouth, the not-quiteadult and the merely stupid haven't figured out that throwing the F-bomb every second syllable is as attention-worthy as "like" from an acceptance-starved 13-year-old.
Instead, it labels the machine-gun-oath-taker as someone not yet capable of conversation worth listening to.
So, what to do, if you're conversationally afflicted this way? Well, here's a bit of advice I gave my kids before they were bigger than me: swear mightily, but frugally - very frugally.
The less you drop the bomb, the more effective it will be. I recall a business meeting in which I did just that, garnering stares of incredulity, not because of the idea I was advancing, but because it was the very first time any of my peers had ever heard me swear in two years of constant interaction.
Did I blush? No. Did I smile? No. Did I make my point? Yes, in a way that made a real contribution to the discussion at hand, because it signaled that I really meant it.
In short, swearing should be employed as a scarce asset - valuable only if you don't over-use it, and less than worthless if you do.
Patrick Conroy
