Young people today. I envy them so.
And no, that's not because they have youth on their side, or because they know computers inside out or because they're able to sleep 14 hours at a stretch.
It's because they never get cold.
I don't enjoy what they enjoy, which is some kind of internal physiological thermostat that has been fine-tuned by nature over the years - and readily apparent when you see them walk to and from high school, which I do regularly.
Were I walking to school at this time of year, I would be wearing what the young people of today might call old geezer clothes: a hooded parka, felt-lined boots, toque, scarf and mittens.
Not so with those lucky young 'uns! I can only assume they must have some kind of internal warming system - call it a Heat-Operating Transmitter, or HOT, for short - because they don't have to bother with a nuisance like a coat. Nope. Mittens? Scarf? Forget it! If they have a hoodie, they're doing well.
As I say, lucky kids. I gather that when they go outside and come in contact with a chilly morning, the HOT thing kicks in. A little sensor in their brains will be activated, and presto: they'll be perfectly warm and toasty.
Sadly, I was born too early to experience HOT, since nature hadn't invented it yet. Sadly, this means I have had to go through my entire life - and more than a few winters - turning on the heat in the car and wearing extra socks.
Sadly, I will never be anything like the young man who strolled down our street last week wearing a T-shirt, shorts and sandals. Sandals, I tell you! It was six degrees! He must have been genetically blessed with a triple dose of HOT!
A couple of weeks before that, I spied three young gals - perhaps 14 or 15 - who were walking to school when a snowfall warning was in effect.
Man, their Heat-Operating Transmitters would have been cranked into overtime, because there they were, decked out in capris, loafers and jean shirts. This, with a snowfall warning! Heck, I was wearing a sweatshirt over a sweater over a turtleneck over a T-shirt, and I was inside, where the heat happened to be cranked up near 70.
As I say, I envy them so, these warm-blooded youngsters.
Not so much the manufacturers of winter coats designed for teens. Given the world's new HOT reality, those coats must be rarely selling, even when their prices are slashed.
Someday, however, those teens will grow up, and those transmitters may lose their strength somewhat. HOT, in other words, may fade to warm, then lose its power completely.
At that point, I'd have a little advice, which is really rather simple: You don't have to shiver at this time of year. You just have to wear more clothes.
