Every parent wants their child to be happy and live a fulfilled life. Parenting is a balancing act. As a parent, I know from experience that this balancing act can get extremely stressful at times. I have realized over the years that as much as children need structure, they also need ample time to play with their peers, reflect on their life and relationships, or just be by themselves daydreaming or doing nothing.
The early years of a child's life are extremely important for their growth and development.
Last year, in my role as a Community Health Specialist, I had an opportunity to meet many parents of pre-school and school aged children. I wanted to inquire on aspects of parenting that they found most stressful. Needless to say, the list was long, but some of the key things that parents said that they worried about were their children's health both physical and emotional, their aptitude, and their behaviour.
As I inquired further, parents were concerned that their children were spending a lot of time in front of screens (TV, phones etc.), consuming excessive junk food, and were not active enough. Some of the parents mentioned that although they found technology to be a great tool in assisting with their children's learning needs, it was also a source of constant distraction in their family life.
However, streams of tears flowed from their eyes as these parents talked about the daily stresses that their children had to cope with when dealing with unpleasant or disappointing situations and the impact these situations had on their kids.
The demands to excel academically, in extra-curricular activities and socially can often be stressful for children. This stress if not cared for in a timely manner can sometimes lead to more serious mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Mental health issues are surprisingly common in children and youth. About one in seven children and youth in B.C. or 14 per cent - will experience a mental illness at some point. Seventy per cent of mental health problems have their onset during childhood or adolescence.
For many people, beginning in early years and continuing throughout their lives, bullying and victimization have a devastating impact on their mental health. Kids who are subjected to violent acts such as bullying often find it difficult to talk about things that hurt them and those that suffer in silence can dwell on negative events making it hard for them to cope and manage such intense feelings. As a result they may exhibit symptoms such as difficulty relaxing and falling asleep, headaches, depression, anxiety, inattention, and aggressive behaviour. This may hinder their performance in school and in other areas of their life.
The presence of a strong parent/child relationship has a positive impact on emotional wellbeing, making healthy choices, and positive social interactions. As a parent, teacher or friend of a young child dealing with anxiety, stress, depression, or other form of emotional health set-backs, one of the most important things we can do to support children is to help them build a sense of self-worth by encouraging openness and by helping them build positive connections. It is also important to ensure that their children are not bullying or being bullied and when necessary take appropriate actions.
Teaching children and modelling for them human qualities like compassion and empathy goes a long way in building a healthier community. Dalai Lama states "the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes." Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. This helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter.
Being a parent in today's world can feel like an isolating undertaking, but it doesn't have to be. Parents can start first by looking after their own physical and mental health. Family, friends, and neighbours have a role to play and can be a great resource for parents at the time of need. If you don't have family around, there are other support services available that can help share the load and help meet the needs of your family and your children.
Victoria Keddis, a facilitator for "In the Know" parents support group stated, "We all experience stress, it's a part of life. Sometimes we just need someone on our side to help manage it. Being curious and learning what works for you or maybe your child will help to get through those challenging times. Avoidance helps stress and anxiety grow stronger; challenging our "what ifs" takes away its power."
As a society, we have work to do to remove the stigma around mental health issues, but as an individual we can start by being mindful. So the next time a child comes to you, take the time to look into their eyes and make that emotional connection because maybe that connection is all that is needed to avert a crisis.
Visit Deltakids.ca - A One-Stop-Info website for children 0-12 years and their families
Following are some links providing insights on healthy living and early intervention:
http://www.live5210.ca/about-live-5-2-1-0/the-live-5-2-1-0-message/
http://www.psychosissucks.ca/howtogethelp.cfm
http://news.fraserhealth.ca/News/June-2014/Podcast-Early-Psychosis-Intervention.aspx
http://news.fraserhealth.ca/News/February-2014/Teaching-young-children-how-to-manage-anxiety.aspx
http://dalailamacenter.org/
Sepia Sharma lives and works in Delta and feels passionate about the role vibrant and inclusive communities play in enhancing community health. She has over 20 years of experience in community development and is currently working as a Community Health Specialist with Fraser Health.
